The cat in the hat on aging

I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot chew
Oh my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bad , can you tell?
My bodys drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years
Have come at last
The Golden Years
Can kiss my ass


Just in case you weren't feeling too old today.

The people who are starting college this fall
were born in 1991.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

The CD was introduced two years before they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been microwaved.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ', or 'de plane Boss, de plane'.


McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Notice the larger type?

That's for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate..