Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an
Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that
was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the
envelope
with trembling hands and read the
letter.


Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to
avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and
she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact
that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the
passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very
happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. We share a dream of having many more
children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people
that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find
a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves
it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take
care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit
so that you can
get to know your grandchildren.


Love, Your Son John



PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at
Tommy's house.


I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a
Report card That's in my center desk drawer.


I love you.


Call me when it's safe to come
home.