A Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean . When
> he gets to Nanaimo , he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But
> first he must find a job.
> > >
> > >
> > > He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an application
> as an 'experienced' logger. It's his lucky day. They just happen to be
> looking for someone.
> > >
> > >
> > > But first, the Bush Foreman takes him for a ride into the bush in the
> company pickup truck to see how much he knows. The foreman stops the truck
> on the side of the road and points at a tree. 'See that tree over there? I
> want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it
> contains.'
> > >
> > >
> > > The Newfie promptly answers, 'Dat dere's a Sitka Spruce and she got 383
> board feet a' lumber in 'er.'
> > >
> > >
> > > The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops again
> about a mile down the road.. He points at another tree through the passenger
> door window and asks the same question. This time, it's a bigger tree and of
> a different class.
> > >
> > >
> > > 'Lord tunderin'! Dat's yer Douglas Fir and she got 690 board feet.' says
> the Newfie.
> > >
> > >
> > > Now the foreman is really impressed. The Newfie has answered quickly and
> got the answers right without even using a calculator!
> > >
> > >
> > > One more test. They drive a little farther down the road, and the
> foreman stops again. This time, he points across the road through his driver
> side window.
> > > 'And what about that one?'
> > >
> > >
> > > Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Newfie says, 'A Yeller Cedar,
> 242 board feet at most.'
> > >
> > >
> > > The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office a little
> pissed off because he thinks that the Newfie is smarter than he is.
> > >
> > >
> > > As they near the office, the foreman stops the truck and asks the Newfie
> to step outside. He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, 'See that tree
> over there. I want you to mark an X on the front of that tree.' The foreman
> thinks to himself, 'Idiot! How would he know which is the front of a tree?'
> > >
> > >
> > > When the Newfie reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while
> looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk.
> He runs back to the foreman
> > > and hands him the chalk.
> > >
> > >
> > > 'Dat's da front a' dat tree fer sure,' the Newfie states.
> > >
> > >
> > > The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, 'How in hell do
> you know that's the front of the tree?'
> > >
> > >
> > > The Newfie looks down at his feet, while rubbing the toe of his left
> boot cleaning it in the gravel and replies, 'Cuz someone took a shit behind
> it!'
> > >
> > >
> > > He got the job.
> > >
> > >
> > > Three weeks later, he became the foreman.